無奈的窘境....該怎辦?

[mungos]

今天聽到男友收到CMU的春季OFFER，其實很為他開心，畢竟這在電機領域，是個在TOP10內的牛校。但很不幸的，我想我沒那個條件進CMU的MBA，信心降到谷底，心中實在沮喪到不行。

想當初，一派天真的認為
文理組兼備的大學這麼多，兩個人申請一樣的學校，總是會有一間一起上的
只要AT跟托福考好，文件好好用一切應該不會太難，現在想想，自己真是白目。
像個白痴般的，離職考了半年的AT(2次)，只能考了個650，搞到現在托福才剛開始準備，時間越緊迫，越想要放棄。

無奈想想，自己其實沒什麼條件出國。以前就知道家裡沒錢，從來就沒想過要出國讀書，在NTHU內悠哉的渡過4年大學生活。出來後，在本土銀行總行從事國際貿易兩年，才漸漸發現自己想要的不只是這些，正好，男友父母提出可以資助，但可想而知的，前提條件是必須要在同校或是能夠住在一起的地方，就在忽略困難度的同時，我就這麼的斷然離職，一點英文底子都沒有的硬生生從頭開始…………

就這樣，我把自己推入了窘境，錢不是自己的，沒辦法依照自己的喜好或需求選擇學校，地點受到了限制，更不用說心中尷尬的程度。當初為什麼會接受我也不知道，也許只是覺得至少這是一個機會，畢竟完全想靠自己出國，恐怕是30歲以後才能辦到的事情。

然而他上了春季的CMU，一個對目前的我而言是沒什麼機會的學校，若是申請PITTS，又覺得不甘心，跟我預期能選的學校有落差，還得考慮投資報酬率的問題，畢竟以後要還債，我知道我男友想要因此放棄CMU，跟我一起申請春季班的學校，但是，我不想他這樣做，這是個很危險而且很可惜的事情…….

我該衝嗎? 即使覺得自己條件不夠，也要申請CMU?
想放棄出國又覺得很不甘心...畢竟也努力了半年
該怎麼辦.....

[hsudk]

You can get in Pitt first and then transfer to CMU. With your GMAT, you might get some part of financial aids from Pitt.

[lunar916]

一點英文底子都沒有的硬生生從頭開始,可以考650...
你很厲害了耶....
不然看看妳男朋友是否要重報... 如果你們將來有很長久的打算,他多等各半年也還好啦...
說不定他重新申請還上了更好的學校勒

[cburger]

At the moment, I don't see why you can't apply for both Pitt and CMU. There might be different possibilities of getting into those schools, but you won't know until you try.

On the other hand, I think you need to reconsider your motivations and priorities. From what I can see, you have 2 motivations:

1. Stay with your boyfriend
2. Get into a good MBA school (in this case CMU)

Your concern is that with the profile you have now, you will have difficulty getting into CMU, but if you disregard the financial and emotional reasons, is CMU really right for you in terms of your career progression? Or you want to choose CMU because you are constrained by those reasons? You need to think about it more carefully because your reasonings will be reflected in your essays, which is at least important as your GMAT and TOEFL scores, if not more.

In a perfect world, you can get everything you want, but the world is not perfect. In MBA i think one important thing it teaches you is to make trade-offs. If you have to choose between staying closer with your boyfriend, or waiting for another opportunity to apply for a better MBA school, what would it be?

Also, in response to Hsudk's comments, I think most MBA schools don't allow transfers. For MS, maybe. If you want to go that route, you need to make sure you can do it.

[mungos]

感激各位的回應
我打算硬是申請CMU 同時申請PITTS了.....
每個人條件跟背景不一樣
有時候 得接受命運的安排~~~

TO cburger:
你說的話很實際
但是更現實的是 我有金錢因素的考量
Stay with boyfriend 是因為我沒有錢 而不是因為所謂的夫唱妻隨
Get into a good MBA school (in this case CMU) 是我想要的
可惜我沒辦法獨立負擔

如果能夠選擇...我會選擇我真的想要的
但是當選擇是非常有限的 只能從中選最好的

[cburger]

To mungos:

One option is to not go to MBA at all if you couldn't get into the school you wanted. After 2 years, if you are in debt for going to a school you don't really want to go in the first place, will you regret the decision? That's without considering your relationship issues, of course. I personally have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 6 years. It will work for some people, but it's not for everyone. I am just putting out options for you to consider. Sometimes the best choice is to NOT do something :)

[jmyang]

我可以給個不成材的建議嗎？這個建議可能會被版上所有女性同胞痛罵...

我自己感覺，mungos 最優先的考量是 be where your boyfriend be，再來才是考慮唸書的問題。

所以如果你的男友也非常希望你留在他的身邊，也許你們可以考慮先結婚，以眷屬的身份跟著他去 CMU。當然不必結婚也是可以以眷屬身份去 CMU。只是如果結婚，也許未來的老公比較容易說服未來的公公婆婆負擔生活費用。

等 mungos 到了 CMU，可以參加學校的英文課程，多認識 admission office 的人，申請上學校的機會更多也說不定。

我沒有研究過 CMU 的 program，但據說多數 MBA school 都會安排很多有趣、充實的活動讓眷屬參加。很多 MBA students 也會帶眷屬去唸書，待在 CMU 應該不會覺得無聊

也許可以考慮在次年申請一年制的 MBA 或 MS，這樣畢業的時間就會相同...

會這樣建議是因為當初我老媽也有說要出錢讓我老婆(當時還沒結婚)一起去啦，只是最後我還是沒有出國..

[davidlee0222]

LADIES!!!
pls don't be fool
don't mass up your career by blindly go somewhere close to your bf
YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR OWN CAREER!!!
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE RICH!!
Or you don't have any bargain power over your marriage
who knows if you'll stay together forever?
you might still break-up even in the same school


1. Find out where's your career direction (you can consult some professionals or friends and families)
2. Analyze and select the best schools which fit your career options (if close to bf, that's great! If not, no big deal. In the U.S., airplane is as convenient as bus.)
3. Strive for your career and make lots of $
4. Take care of your bf with your $ or find a better one

[davidlee0222]

Career and Relationship are always 2 independent lines
they should go parallel
they'll have some correlations and connections
but they're always 2 lines, FOREVER

if you lose any one of them
your life will crash

[mungos]

這是我目前的一些觀點，希望大家看看，如果有意見或是覺得’’你在亂來’’之類的，請趕快打醒我，別客氣!!
另外，評估大家的討論及我男友的汪汪淚水之後………
我必須說我還是得稍微考慮到RELATIONSHIP的部分，畢竟也快6年了。

經過漫長的思考
我想了一兩個決定方案
1. 申請CMU跟PITTS
CMU :這個要求有夠多，忙了半天上的機率渺小，又貴的跟吸血鬼一樣…有點想放棄，如果上了要負債N百萬，我還在考慮是不是要過著負債數年的人生
PITTS:相較之下，吸血程度跟跳蚤一般，而且比較有機會申請到獎學金，經過我精密的計算，如果有申請到部分獎學金，投入所有積蓄，加上白吃白喝白住，我幾乎不需要借貸。

2. 今年不申請，多賺錢跟經驗，明年在申請自己想要的學校。
(反正他明年就畢業，離開後，也沒辦法COVER在匹茲堡的生活費)，不過就需要借貸，借貸多少，就看我那畢業男友能掙多少錢資助我了。

原因跟小心得:
有些人會認為，讀到了CMU未來一定可以賺回來，是一個很值得的投資，我深表認同，但是，令我害怕的是，在這個理念之下，付出的代價遠比我想像的多，這些代價包含著你讀書兩年對未來能不能找到高報酬工作的焦慮?要多少時間才能還玩債務?在沒有任何生活品質可言的還債歲月裡你需要稱多久?如果失業了怎麼辦?房貸跟車貸呢? 還是等還完讀書債在買? 如果就年薪10萬美金來算的話，考慮到稅，台灣人的升遷，食衣住行，扣除娛樂，我估計大約要3-4年才能還清，就我的CASE來算，25+2+4 我已經是31歲了，這對女生是個打擊阿~~ >”<。(除非我嫁掉，拿別人的戶頭還錢XD)

很多大大支持著大家出國的理想，但是卻很少有大大分享他們還債生活的點滴。有沒有人甘之如貽，我不知道，有沒有人後悔，我也不知道。

但是相對的，如果我可以不需要任何負債，得到PITTS的學位，雖然以後在美國找到工作的機會小，薪水相對低很多，但是至少我沒有壓力，在美國找不到工作，我可以選擇回台灣，發展自己想要的工作，賺著也不錯的薪水，擁有我想要的生活品質，真想呆在美國，大不了嫁到那邊去….(真是越說越沒有志氣了… )
但是若讀PITTS還需要貸款，那我就會考慮投資報酬率的問題，我也許就會放棄，在多停留個1年，讓自己變的更好，去申請很好的學校。(那時候男友也畢業了，CMU的EE應該會再美國找到不錯的工作，該是他表現誠意的時候了 )

會有以上這些想法，主要也是因為最近跟親友聊過之後的感想，你是想很辛苦的做超級女強人，還是當個還不錯強的並擁有快樂的生活?
我想，如果MBA只是想實現自己出國的理想，發展自己想要的事業，在任何國家都可以，端看你自己能學多少，吸收多少，’’自己’’強不強，不是依學校判斷的。當然，如果就很長遠來看，名校是很有價值的，名校的好處說不完，大家也都知道，端看你要不要接受所有可能的代價。我比較ㄋㄠ，我不想過負債的生活。

[Ivan]

如果就年薪10萬美金來算的話<-----To be frankly, as an international student, it is not easy to get such high salary although you graduate from CMU. I am currently studying in B-school whose ranking is close to PITTS and I attended many career events in past 3 months. If I can get 60K/year or higher after graduating, I will be very very very happy.........BTW, according to your GMAT, it is also not easy to get much scholarship from PITTS, I think you might get a little scholarship. my current classmates who also came from Taipei and had GMAT=650,CBT=253, and 4-years working experience in banking was admitted by PITTS in March,this year, however, she got no scholarship from PITTS and decided to give up this offer. BTW, according to your background, the Toefl score is also an important thing to you if you want to enroll in Top-schools. I am a living example....hahaha....I have GMAT higher than yours, 4 years in semiconductor filed+1.5 military service, GAP above 3.2, graduating from NCKU with double major but CBT was only 240.......all schools (ranking25---ranking45) rejected me because of my lower Toefl........
Please pay your attention on your Toefl..go go.....Hoping my words encourage not depress you....if you have any problem or need any suggestion, please let me know.....BTW, I and my girlfriend are separated between NY and Texas.Luckily, we are in good situation so far. The world is not perfect<---I totally agree with it.....

[davidlee0222]

it's simply imposible to have 100K salary
unless you're a true genius

you might be very very lucky to only get a job
very very few people stay in the U.S. after they graduate

[hungji]

1. Get married FIRST. Be responsible for this relationship.
( So many 6yr relationship end up NOTHING for TWN students, especially in the stupid USA study environment. )
2. Absolutely NOT ez for a module MBA in one school to transfer to a module MBA in another school.
3. UPITT-MBA or CMU-MBA, or "Breakup". Being an F2 is also a good option too, as jmyang indicated above.
4. Cheers!

[pechiko]

I am in a very similar position as Mungos.

Fiance at CMU, applying for both U pit and CMU (and two other MBA programs somewhere else). I have a GMAT score of 660 and 2-year working experience as a tax consultant in the Big 4. I am exempted from TOEFL as I graduated from University of Washington. However, I think I would have difficulty getting into CMU as well (please give me some hope if you think i have some chance).

but it's not going to happen if you don't even try. and to me, career is as important as my relationship. ITS DEFINITELY PARALLEL
maybe you can consider applying to Ohio State, 大約三小時的車程, or schools where there is direct flight to pittsburgh.

Regarding the financing issue, maybe I am in a better status, but i would suggest you not be in debt too much if you are not career oriented. It's simply not worth it, especially if you want to have a easy life. Think about what fits you the best.

Lastly, 不知道這對你是否有所鼓勵,我跟我男友已經在一起六年半了,今年一月訂的婚,但是我們最後兩年都是在遠距離中度過,而且非常穩定,祝福你們也能開花結果

Hope to see you at CMU

[genmy]

先嫁了+同時申請兩間
最好的情況是因為老公在CMU所以ad人員在衡量你已經到達標準的情況下給你ad.
次好,中pitt,進去好好找intern,有利未來找工作
再不行,做F2,用F2身分在學校修課,再申請CMU(我不知道MBA課給不給這樣搞)
(做F2沒什麼不好,在這邊你可以學到很多東西,你甚至可以發現你不一定要申請MBA,
米國很流行校間轉來轉去,系間轉來轉去,反正你已經在這邊了,學校一定了解你比了解國外的多,在資訊不對稱之下,
如果你不是很差,她們通常都很隨便啦)
or...再附近找一間ok的學校念了...至少以後你老公繼續唸完,你唸完master可以去工作
btw,最後一法卻有人這樣做,男人念統計,女人找一間私立學校念cs+在校內圖書館打工
現在兩人都工作啦,加起來十萬,自己有房子....
再不行...樓主去別處唸也部會怎樣,都六年了,分開一下不會怎樣,多留幾滴眼淚而已...
dual career本來就比較辛苦,兩個人要互相諒解.
不要留下以後的遺憾,不要以後抱怨當初怎樣,如果你真的想念,相信你老公也會支持的.
加油阿...台灣女性!